31 Days to a Stronger Marriage: Choosing to Meet My Husband's Needs

Proverbs is an amazing book of the Bible. I love the short bursts of wisdom that flow from this book and how they can radically change my life. If I let them.

Proverbs is probably best known for it's Proverbs 31 Woman. After studying the book of Proverbs over the last couple of months, I finally saw that all throughout the book, there are fantastic admonitions that will improve my marriage by improving my husband me. Yes, you read that right. I chose to focus on changing myself rather than my husband. Ironically, in the process of changing myself, I saw some favorable changes in my husband as well.

He became more attentive, communicated better and sought to help me in more specific ways.

Throughout these 31 consecutive days of posting, I will try to be as transparent as possible and yet maintain a sense of dignity in the topics I'll be covering. You'll probably understand what I'm getting at the more we wade through this study.

While not every chapter had a verse that said, "Wives, do this...." or "Wives, don't do that..." there was at least one verse from every chapter that spoke to me about my role as a wife.

And, truth be told, I learned a lot from the immoral woman frequently mentioned in Proverbs. She is sly and is the type of woman we want our husbands to stay away from. But I found myself wondering what was it about her that was tempting. I often asked myself if I was pursuing my husband the way the immoral woman pursues her next victim. And I learned a lot.

Proverbs 2:16-22 is filled with warning for a godly man. However, if you look closely, a godly wife can learn something as well.
"Wisdom will save you from the immoral woman, from the flattery of the adulterous woman. She has abandoned her husband and ignores the covenant she made before God. Entering her house leads to death; it is the road to hell. The man who visits her is doomed. He will never reach the paths of life. Follow the steps of good men instead, and stay on the paths of the righteous. For only the upright will live in the land, and those who have integrity will remain in it. But the wicked will be removed from the land, and the treacherous will be destroyed."

Today's step towards a stronger marriage is this: tend to the needs of your husband and remember the covenant you made to God on your wedding day.

The Wedding Vows

The adulterous woman in chapter 2 abandoned her husband and ignored the covenant she made before God on her wedding day.

Thinking back to my own wedding vows, they went like this:

 I, Becky, take you Adam, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.

When we were planning our wedding, I never gave it a thought to, gasp, reword my wedding vows. I probably would have felt like we couldn't get married without those golden words. But truth be told, they're words that, for me, were easy to gloss over because I was in love. And I didn't have the life experience behind me to really get why it was so important to take a pledge like this.

Regardless, my wedding vow was a pledge of loyalty to my husband whether he turns out to be sickly or have robust health. It's a promise to tend to his needs whether it's convenient for me or not. It's me declaring to him that I will be his friend and helper whether we are experiencing joy or sorrow. It's a statement that I will love him no matter what, that I believe in him and that I will help him achieve his goals. It's a commitment to honor and respect him and to show great love towards him for the rest of his days.

So how does the passage in Proverbs work itself out in our daily life?

We know our husbands (hopefully) better than anyone else does, so we know what needs they have. Tending to our husband's needs can include intimate needs, social needs (letting him hang out with the guys), dietary needs (does he struggle with his weight or need time to exercise?), or simply making sure meals are prepared and his clothes are laundered.

While it is impossible to meet all of our husband's needs, we ought to make it our goal to take care of him. What man can resist a wife like that? Not many, I'm guessing.

Day 2's challenge is this: Choose one way today you can meet your husband's needs.

Join me tomorrow as we take a look at Proverbs 3.

Did you miss Day 1? No worries! I have a landing page for this series where you can easily catch up on any posts between now and October 31.

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Michele-Lyn said...

Firstly, I think working through Proverbs and seeing how it relates to marriage is both brilliant and truth-telling. As I read through your posts, though I have one more to read I think, I was already seeing it was reveal my own heart. I love the challenge question at the end. It really made me stop and think. said...

Thank you Michele-Lyn. It's an outworking of the Holy Spirit in my own life and I am praying that God uses it to encourage and equip others as well. I'm glad you're reading along with me in this series. :)

Bonnie Way aka the Koala Mom said...

So true!!! As you say, it's so easy to forget those words we spoke in the church. Yet if we remember them and live them, our marriages are so much better. :) Thanks for sharing. said...

Thanks, Bonnie. :)

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