Helping Our Children Develop Kindness

Kindness is not something that children seem to be born with. Some are naturally kinder than others, but most find it a struggle when dealing with siblings or classmates. It's a character trait that I myself have had to work on over the years and it's something that I find myself constantly working on with my children. 

One way I chose to help them was by developing a nature based character unit that focused on kindness. Our Scripture focus was Proverbs 16:24 which says, "Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones”  and our nature focus was on bees. 

I loved incorporating crafts, recipes, science and suggested readings to go along with our devotional. I felt that doing this kept bringing us back to the topic and would help reiterate the character trait we were trying to develop. 

In our home, when a child is struggling to be sweet with what comes out of their mouth, they’re not allowed to put anything sweet into their mouth for the rest of the day. Each time there’s an opportunity that day for them to have a treat, they will not be able to eat it. Hopefully this will remind them how important it is that we choose kind words when we are talking to others. I try to remind our children (and myself) that it’s not only important what we say but how we say it. I give my children the example of canoeing. If someone goes for a canoe ride, they need to alternate paddling on both sides of the canoe. Otherwise they won’t go much of anywhere except in a big circle! They must paddle on both sides in order to have a successful canoe trip. Our words are much the same way. We can say the right words but speak them in the wrong way. With God’s help we want to say the right words in the right way and when we do, our relationship with others will be much better.

How do you help develop kindness in your children?





Are you looking to improve your health in 2019?  Then I'd love to have you join me in my private Facebook group called Bridging the Gap. Also, be sure to check out my "Bee Kind" and "Diligence" nature based character development units and my ebooks as well: A Wife's Guide to Studying Proverbs, Topical Devotions for Pregnancy and Early Potty Teaching. Or, if you're looking for a way to get 30 raw fruits and vegetables in your diet every day, contact me here. 

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Nature Based Character Development Unit Study: Diligence and the Ant

The idea to do nature based character studies came to me one day while sitting in church. I thought of the many examples that God gives us in Scripture of things that are found in nature that He uses to help shape our character. Probably the most familiar example is the ant in Proverbs 6:6-8. God tells us to take the time to observe the ant and to see how she works. Her very nature is diligence. She doesn’t need someone standing over her telling her what to do. She has initiative and a hardworking spirit. I don’t know about you, but that’s the kind of character I want for myself and my family.

Helping Your Family Put Boundaries on Social Media

**Giveaway over

Do you ever feel that pull in your heart away from social media but you're just so not sure how to put some distance between you and the untamed beast?

I know I do.

Sometimes I wish I could go back to my old life before there was Facebook. While Facebook has had some life-changing impacts on our life by helping us discover OIT for our son's peanut allergy, most of the fluff in my Newsfeed I could have done without.

How to Help Your Child Get Ready for Daylight Savings Time

Picture Disclaimer: First, I asked my daughter permission to use this picture and it is very much out of character for her! :) Second, this wasn't a morning after Daylight Savings, but rather, the morning of April Fool's Day. She was rather unhappy, you might say, about the friendly, good-natured joke played on her. She can laugh about it now. :)


How to Help Your Child Get Ready for Daylight Savings Time

A friend gave me this idea a few years ago, but I have to admit, one of the first times we did it, we really messed our kids' internal clocks up. And I felt pretty dumb! The funny part is, my husband went right along with it not catching our mistake either until it was too late.

Here's what happened...

The idea is to gradually adjust your kids' internal clocks in preparation for the time change by adjusting their bedtime gradually in increments of 15 minutes. When our fiasco took place, I began putting the kids to bed 15 minutes earlier than usual for about 2 weeks. Then, the night came when we were to put our clocks forward one hour.

And then it hit me.

I had been putting them to bed earlier (we had worked our way up to one hour) when I should have been gradually letting them stay up an hour past their normal bedtime.

Are you kidding me???

Now the kids were going to have to adjust to a two hour time change! So much for being responsible.

In spite of our folly, usually about a week before the time change, either my husband or I are reminded that IT IS COMING AGAIN. (Can I hear an "Amen" from parents all over America who hate time change??)

And here we are, a little over a week before we Spring Forward (that means you're going to lose an hour of precious sleep--like I have any I can afford to give up these days...) Therefore, you will want to start putting your kids to bed a little earlier each night.

We only messed up one time change, so I can honestly say that all the rest have been a smooth transition for the kids once Daylight Savings Starts or Stops.

Now it's me that has the hard time, and not the kids, because I'm not quite so disciplined about adjusting my own bed time. I really should though this year because maybe, just maybe, I will be able to get the baby slightly adjusted as well?? Here's hoping!

And don't forget, if you have babies that you need to slightly alter their nap time as well.

So, it's up to you. You can either take the gradual adjustment approach or just deal with tired, crabby kids for a few days and get it over with that way. It's your call. Just don't make the same mistake I did. You WILL regret it!


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Our First Day of School for 2013-2014

We are officially back in school. I now have 4 "students" which, believe it or not, is the same number of students I had my very first year of teaching in a small Christian school. The Lord has certainly been gracious as I have added school into my Momma Schedule, especially with a newborn along for the ride. (By the way, my Boba wrap has worked wonders in this endeavor!)

I am incredibly thankful for the privilege of teaching these precious children at home and I'm thankful for a husband who supports me in that role. It's something I never thought I would do, but God's ways are better than mine!

Since I'm a little pressed for time these days (ya think??) I thought I'd just give you some pictures of our first day rather than writing a whole post. I hope you enjoy them!

 

My dear firstborn...how can he be in 3rd Grade??

 

 

Our precious sunshine of a girl in 1st Grade!

 

 

 

The little charmer who melts my heart, now a preschooler

 

Our theme this year is Legos. We "do" school in the corner of our living room so I have to admit, I don't go all out in the school type decorations. However, with our Lego theme this year it's nice and calm decorating wise and the kids absolutely love it. Plus, it required no time on my part to do the "decorating." The kids all worked on their Lego "decorations" themselves.

 

 

 

 

 

It "just so happened" that Meijer had Lego themed school essentials. How perfect. A little more expensive, but really, how could I say no? Actually, Daddy was the one footing the bill so we have him to thank!

 

 

 

 

A little external motivator here for not complaining about school (actually, just math.)

 

 

 

 

Breakfast of Champions...or something like that. Cream of Wheat and Bacon.

The highlight of the day was when I told the kids they could go outside to play and our 3 year old told me, "But I have to do my math!" Math, what math? Oh, you want to learn math. Okay!  The math theme has continued for him over the past 3 days. Maybe he's going to take after his Daddy. ('Cause it certainly won't be his Momma!)

I on the other hand, crashed on the bed as soon as school was over and the kids were in their rooms for quiet time. Phew! It has been a great 3 days so far and I'm so thankful for the Lord's help!

 

"Many Christians estimate difficulties in the light of their own resources, and thus attempt little and often fail in the little they attempt. All God’s giants have been weak men who did great things for God because they reckoned on His power and presence with them." -Hudson Taylor

 

 

 

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Heartfelt Discipline

 

Heartfelt Discipline: Following God's Path of Life to the Heart of Your Child by Clay Clarkson has been one of the best books I have read lately, but especially in the parenting genre. I can't say enough about how important the truths regarding discipline are that I learned in this book. As a Christian parent, I don't have the option of whether or not to discipline our children. My husband and I are commanded in Scripture to instruct and teach our children, but what does that look like?

Clay Clarkson, author of Educating the Whole Hearted Child and father of four, takes a fresh look at parenting and re-evaluates some of the quick, go-to methods that we have a tendency to use in our parenting. While Scripture is very clear that we must "bring [our children] up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord" it isn't especially clear on how to discipline them and we need to be careful not to resort to what comes naturally to us, but rather to the principles that God has laid out for us in His Word.

Heartfelt Discipline helps us take a look at what the Bible says about childhood discipline and allows us to see that God has provided a way to biblically discipline our children as we walk our own path with God. This approach to parenting doesn't rely on methods, but rather on our faith in God, our relationship with him, the Holy Spirit and and the heart of both the parent and child.

Clay shares three key principles of discipline for us to follow:

1. Direction--Guiding and showing our children how to walk the path with God
2. Correction--Getting your children back on the path when sin leads them off of it
3. Protection--Guarding them from temptations that could draw them away.

To give you some of the heart behind this book read what Clay says: 

"After years of relying on everything but the Spirit of God, we finally realized that God wanted us to live by faith when it came to raising our children. He wanted us to depend on Him--on the power of His Spirit and the wisdom of His Word--rather than on formulas, experts, or our parenting skills. It was not flesh, feelings, or formula that would make us effective parents, but faith--living in the power of the Holy Spirit who works moment by moment in our hearts and minds to help us be more like Christ. And isn't that what we want our children to see--Christ in us, especially in our discipline? That is a biblical truth so simple and radical that it can change how you look at all of life, but especially at your life at home with your children." p. 80

What I Thought

This is not a quick read. At least it wasn't for me! I found myself pausing frequently to mull over what I had just read, to stop and confess areas where I focused on the urgency of getting the discipline over with rather than the heart of discipline, or to stop and pray that God would help us to grow in specific areas.

I truly believe that this book is applicable to anyone who works with children or has children or grandchildren because it helps direct our discipline towards the children in our life in a biblical, loving manner. "The Bible shows us that childhood discipline is a dynamic relationship between parent, child, and God. Understanding that three-way spiritual relationship will change how you think about discipline as a parent." p. 81

"Many Christian parents, myself included, tend to speak as though [their children] were Pharisees when addressing their children. We can speak harshly and with judgment, implying by our manner that we believe their hearts are hard and resistant. But this attitude is not justified by Scripture. There is no record of Jesus ever speaking to a child in a harsh tone. When the Gospels record Him speaking to a child, it is always with gentleness. Our children are not our adversaries. Though our children's hearts are corrupted by sin, they are not hardened sinners who have made conscious choices to reject the Savior. Our children are simply immature and childish. That's why children need the grace of love and compassion, not the legal harshness of shame and guilt." p. 165

I spent quite a bit of timing underlining or making notes in this book so that those things that stood out to me most would be readily identified again. There are so many thoughts I could share from this book, but I'll let you wait and get you're own copy!  Here's one of my favorites though:

"Paul reminded us that 'God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us' (Romans 5:8). God didn't wait for us to get it all right. Instead He saw something in us worth redeeming because we are stamped with His image. His love looked past our sin to see our potential in Christ. As parents, we are called to love our children that way, to express our belief in them and in what they can become despite their sin, and to see God at work in them before they see it themselves." p. 115

If you have a heart for your kids and want to help them grow in their walk with Christ I think you'll really benefit from this book. If you'd like to order a copy of your own Heartfelt Discipline, stop by www.wholeheart.org to get yours today. I hope you found this review helpful and encouraging.


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This post may involve product that was received in exchange for a review or contain affiliate links for which I will earn compensation should you choose to make a purchase. I am disclosing this information in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR Part 255, Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising. Thank you for your support of Purposeful Homemaking.