Aspirations of a Godly Wife

For the past 31 days we have studied every chapter of Proverbs to see what is says about our role as a wife. Lord-willing, we have taken these admonitions to heart and applied them in hopes of strengthening our marriage.

Today we are looking at one final chapter. Proverbs 31 was penned by King Lemuel (most Bible scholars believe this was another name for King Solomon) and is an outpouring of truths his mother taught him. 

Since our series has focused on how to strengthen our marriage, let's skim this passage for some practical "how-to's"

Be a Capable Wife 

A virtuous and capable wife is worth more than precious rubies. In other words, walk in the Spirit sister and you are a gold mine!

But sometimes we need to evaluate how we're doing.

A simple place to start is simply by asking our husband if there are any changes that need to be made or how we can help him the most. I would suggest taking notes so that you can come back to them over time. Try not to be defensive during this time. (Hard. I know better than anyone.) If you just write down notes rather than turning this time into a major discussion, it can allow you to mull things over when you're not as emotionally defensive. J 

Be a Helper

I'm pretty sure that I forgot over the past 11 years of marriage that my primary role is to help my husband. Thankfully God brought it to my attention and it's not too late to change. I have to remember that God equipped me to help my husband; not the other way around. It's not about me pursuing my ideals and him helping me get there. It's about me partnering and helping HIM fulfill his God-given calling on his life as he leads our family.

One of the greatest things I can do for my husband is to pray for him. I need to pray specifically and I can even pray passages of Scripture. I can be my husband's greatest asset because I can be the one in whom “his heart safely trusts.” Proverbs 31:11-12 says, “Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She will not hinder him but help him all her life.  A note in the margin of my Bible says “He knows she is committed to him and he trusts her without reservation.”  What a gift to my husband.

Be Diligent

“She finds wool and flax and busily spins it. She is like a merchant’s ship; she brings her food from afar.” Yesterday I was on a field trip with my children and we saw the farmer sheer a sheep, spin the wool and turn it into yarn. Lemme just tell ya, I'm glad I live in the 21st Century and don't have to spin my own yarn just to make my clothes. And while I have plenty of modern day servants around my home, (don't let the kids fool you into thinking it's them. I'm referring to the dishwasher, washing machine, dryer, etc.) :) there is still a lot of work to be done--and that's all in the midst of distractions from social media beeping at me all day long via my phone or computer. It's a busy day and age that we live in and we need wisdom about how we spend our time. 

Be a Creative Entrepreneur

“She goes out to inspect a field and buys it; with her earnings she plants a vineyard. She makes belted linen garments and sashes to sell to the merchants.” I love this woman. She is creative, smart, financially wise and knows how to make a good return on her investment. Sign me up.

Be a Hard Worker

“She is energetic and strong, a hard worker.” Am I characterized by these traits? Can my husband say this of me? We all have limitations of various sorts, but we need to be faithful in working with what we have.

Be a Bargain Shopper

“She watches for bargains…” I'm pretty sure this is a command to go shop the sales rack. Or in my case, hit up some garage sales every week during the summer! What I do know is, this woman is wise with her money. She spends her money carefully, waits for deals when possible and doesn't feel like she has to have the latest and greatest at the expense of her family.

Be Lovingly Generous to Others

“She extends a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms to the needy.” For most of us, there is always room for improvement in this area. You cannot out give God! Luke 6:38 says, “If you give, you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full measure, pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, and running over. Whatever measure you use in giving—large or small—it will be used to measure what is given back to you.”

Be a Planner

This doesn't come naturally to all of us but verse 21 tells us we should plan and make provisions for our future.

Be Involved in Your Community

Verse 23 tells us that the virtuous woman’s husband is involved with civil leaders. While our role may not involve politics per se, we can be a blessing to our neighbors and encourage them. Ministering to their needs is a great way to build redemptive relationships.

When She Speaks, Her Words are Wise and Kindness is the Rule When She Gives Instruction

Can I be like this? Please? Pretty please?

I need to remember that how I say something is just as important as what I say.

Be Alert

“She carefully watches all that goes on in her household and does not bear the consequences of laziness.” I don't like to think of myself as a lazy person, but you know what? I am lazy! I've realized that I'm selectively lazy. If there's something I enjoy, I'm all over it. But that pile of clutter on the desk? Eh, it can wait. That pile of clothes that need to get bagged and sent to Goodwill? There's time for that next week. That scum in the sink? I'll clean it later. Oh my, since Jesus opened my eyes to my laziness, I've realized how much I have deceived myself. A little fire has been lit under me and I can tell you, I do not want to bear the consequences of laziness.

Be Beautiful

We are constantly bombarded in our culture with tips on the best way to get tighter abs, whiter teeth, less wrinkles, toned thighs, tanned skin, fuller lips, an incredible wardrobe and so much more.

But where's the commercial for how to get a beautiful and kind spirit?

Some day, what little outward beauty I try to wrangle is going to get the best of me. (Who am I kidding? I've already started working on my wrinkles!) I will not always be youthful, but I can always have the inward glow of a life filled with Christ.  That is an everlasting beauty that my husband will treasure more than the size 4 jeans I want to fit in. 

Proverbs 31 is a chapter I feel like I could do an entire series on, but these points give me some goals to work towards.

I seriously cannot believe October is over. I'm not sure what made it zoom past like the speed of lightning--me blogging every day or just normal, busy life with four children, a husband and home. Regardless, the month is done and it's hard to believe we are heading into the holidays. And while you won't see me posting daily on the blog, I do hope you'll pop in for weekly posts. I've enjoyed interacting with some new readers as a result of this series and I truly hope you'll stick around.

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Anonymous said...

I love your encouragement! Especially your last point about beauty! I've been writing on beauty from a spiritual perspective and really enjoyed how you addressed it. Congratulations on 31 days! said...

Thank you! What is the link to your series on beauty? I'd love to check it out. :)

Unknown said...

I have really enjoyed this series, and it has hit me right where I am! I have been very guilty of expecting my husband to help me and not the other way around. Thanks for the reminders, and I hope to keep reading after October! said...

Big hug to you Melissa! I really hope I continue to work on these things, too. :)

Deb said...

Thank again for this series! I've learned a lot and have gained a better understanding of being a godly wife. I think I might be printing some of these out and posting them on my fridge to get a reminder once in a while. :) said...

You are most welcome! I'm so glad you were able to learn from this series and I thank God for that. My goal is to eventually turn this series into an ebook--even if only just for my own reference! There is so much I need to keep working on. :)


Lauren said...

"I need to remember that how I say something is just as important as what I say." Yes. I needed this reminder today. And also the reminder that I am my husband's helper. And that I should pray for him... not about him. Great post. said...

I'm glad it could point you towards Christ, Lauren. Thanks for your encouragement!


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