From the Heart

Lately I’ve been feeling overwhelmed by my inadequacies.

Inadequate at trying to keep us within our tight grocery budget and still buy diapers, pull-ups, paper products, cleaning supplies and oh that’s right, food. Not just any food, but healthy food. Thankfully I have a husband who tells me I am doing a good job because I don't feel like I am. I am so blessed by him.

Or there are so many times I feel inadequate as a parent. I mean, do other homeschooled 5 year olds complain when it's time to start school? (I secretly hope so…) I guess if he went to school he'd be complaining about that too.

Or, I feel irritated by the “lack of love” between siblings. So, I press on in trying to teach my children not to grumble, complain or fight.

There are definitely days I feel overwhelmed by the demands of motherhood. The lack of sleep, the interruptions, the constant disciplining. And yet. These are the moments in which God can shape and mold me. It's not just about my children growing in grace. It's about me growing in that same grace. Oh that I would not be dismayed by these difficulties, but rather, thank God for them. Wow. That is hard. And yet, Scripture tells me that “when troubles come my way” I ought to “consider it an opportunity for great joy. For I know that when my faith is tested, my endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when my endurance is fully developed, I will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.”

And yet.

I don’t need to do this alone… "If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.” (James 1:2-5)

Honestly, God has taught me more about Himself, myself and the gap between since I have become a wife and mother. That in and of itself is an expression of grace…that God would love me so much that He takes the time to help me become more like Him.

Recently the Lord brought this to my attention in an e-mail from Dayspring. It’s entitled

Less Stress, More Grace
Demands knock on my door.
Burdens beckon me to answer.
The to-do list stretches for miles.
I whisper, "I feel overwhelmed."
And in the stillness it seems I hear...
"Child, open your heart to Me
instead of the demands of the day.
Lay those burdens at My feet, not on your shoulders.
Let go of your list and dare to embrace My grace.
I do not require you to be overwhelmed.
I enable you to overcome.
And with Me, you always will."

I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. John 16:33

--by Holley Gerth

This was a reminder to me that I am neglecting to let His strength be made perfect in my weakness. When I bring my burdens to the Gentle Shepherd it is then that I am refreshed, renewed and hope is restored. I need this renewal so that I can make it in this journey as a mom, because quite frankly there are days I don't feel as if I will make it! Just last night I was telling my husband that when I stop to think about all the responsibility I have in taking care of 3 young children I sometimes think I can't do it anymore. But, life goes on and guess what? I am doing it because I have to and I'm okay.

There are days when I don't want to be the mom anymore. Can't someone else do it? But then I think, honestly, I don't want anyone else to do it. I'm jealous of that job. And rightfully so. Peace comes knowing that I’m doing exactly what God has created me to do.

God sends me tangible help when I need it….like the teen girl from church who offers her time two days a week in order to lighten my load. This is a gift of hospitality.

Recently I was reading thoughts on hospitality by Karen Burton and I learned that hospitality can manifest itself in many ways. It might look like a loaf of homemade bread for someone who is in need of encouragement, a bag of groceries to a struggling family, a card in the mail to someone. It doesn't have to be limited to just having people over in your home. When we are practicing biblical hospitality, lives are touched by the hand of God. Beautiful. Thank you Jesus for the lives that have touched mine as an expression of your love for me.

So, with renewed commitment I lay my burdens at the feet of Jesus. I will continue this pursuit of purposefulness in the home. I pray that my life would be a visible expression of God's invisible love. Only by His grace can any of this be accomplished.

Why do I share something so personal? Because I know I am not the only one who struggles. If I can somehow encourage you in the path you are on, then praise the Lord. Is it a sacrifice to blog? In some ways yes, in others ways it is an outlet for me. Ultimately though I want it to be my way of (hopefully) impacting others right from my own home. I want to help you as you pursue purposeful homemaking. I don’t have all the answers, but am constantly reading and asking questions so that I will improve what I do. If I can find something small to pass on to you then I feel encouraged.



you are definitely not the only one who has these thoughts! i think that too sometimes - 'i don't want to be the mom anymore!' i get SO overwhelmed by the house and the food budget (buying quality on a low budget is sooo hard for me to get a handle on!) and just trying to get through a day without my 8-year-old having a tantrum, ugh...
but i am learning to really appreciate the good days. and learning how my mood can influence the rest of the household...if i at least start the day 'acting' cheerful (which sometimes takes lots of prayer and lots of coffee!), then everyone else seems to act better and things go so much smoother and more gets i kind of feel like i am in 'fake it till i make it' mode most days :)


ps - sometimes i forget that kids learn most by example. like when sky has a tantrum (which is a VERY stressful time for me), i get so focused on him and HIS behavior that i forget about mine and get snappy at him...i forget that God is actually teaching ME how to act patiently and show grace at these times, so i can eventually pass it on to is such a learning process being a mother!! said...

thanks, amy. your second comment is so true---Carter is a lot like me and when he gets upset i'm tempted to blow up too! that is the truth--these are the things God is using to help us grow in grace too. yep, motherhood is defintitely the hardest thing i've ever done, but the most rewarding.

Kat @ Inspired To Action said...

" It's not just about my children growing in grace. It's about me growing in that same grace."

I love that line!

I completely relate to this post, as I imagine every mother would. So well said, so hopeful.

Thank you, Becky! said...

Thank you so much for stopping by my blog! I told my husband "a famous blogger read my blog. She even had JJ Heller sing AT HER HOUSE!" ;)

I hope you are doing well...I have prayed for you because I saw your post about the cancer testing. (at least I thought it was you writing it and that it was recent.)

Anyways, thank you for your encouraging words. Have a great day!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...